The Martial Artists (childrens story in verse)

The little white mouse sat and stared

at a wall in a big old house,

just a small crack in the skirting

perfect size for a single mouse.

With a pencil and flat paper

a rolled up measuring tape

he checked the small dimensions

for his tiny white mousey shape.

This place might just be perfect

with some paint and tiny nails

when along came a rat with

a pink wormlike, very long tail.

The rat sat and pondered

holding his super sized limb,

‘you cannot live in there’ he said,

'the nasty cat would find him.

If the pussy doesn’t get you

Then the humans here sure will

with traps, deadly rodent poison

they might even call Rentokil!

They will leave a chunk of cheese

and some crumbs upon a trap,

then wait for a little while

just to hear it go……. SNAP!’

‘not to worry’ said the mouse,

‘many thanks for the tip,

now how do you do sir rat

you can call me Mr Chip…’

‘Oh think nothing of it!’

said the colourful young rat

whilst scratching his lengthy tail,

tipping his bright purple hat.

‘The name’s Cederick La Fleur

and how do you do…

I have a lovely little studio

near the paint and the glue.’

So Chip followed Cederick

with a skip and a hop,

through the lounge and the kitchen

to his little workshop.

‘we have arrived at my place,’

said La Fleur with glee

‘its a bit of a mess…

I am an artist you see!’

Cederick spoke very trendy

said ‘hey man look a round’

whilst he chattered and pointed

telling Chip what he’d found.

There were wood saws and hammers

there were tools all around,

some screwdrivers and spanners

near some wood that was bound

Some tacks and long nails

tap, knock, hammer them through

but when all fixings fail

there’s the paint and the glue.

Chip tip toed through squinting

wiped his feet on the mat

saw great paintings and  sculptures

of mouse traps and big cats!

‘Oh my!’ and ‘oh dear!,

why do you paint things like that?’

‘Well its terribly fashionable’,

pointed out Cederick the rat.

‘I am known by collectors,

all the galleries for sure…

they all know the great name of

young Ceddy La Fleur!’

‘I sell to the Rich and the Famous’

‘Valuable?’…‘erm,  oh yes very,

in fact my best customers

are Micky and Jerry!’

‘I do not know those mice at all?’

said Chip, wide-eyed with dismay,

'I’m not really into celebrities

Nor fashion these days…’

‘Don’t worry’ Ceddy told him

‘now that doesn’t really matter…

your welcome to stay a while

for some tea and a natter…'

So they settle down at Ceddy’s

for some tea and cheesecakes,

they talked cats and dogs

French fromagery makes.


Continued...

Now you could be my lodger sleep by the paint and the glue we will have lots of fun cos there’s plenty here to do!’ ‘That’s super, smashing, great’ Chip said ‘I will move in right away, I will clean, tidy, scrub Bristol fashion, ship shape!’ ‘Superb!’ said young Ceddy ‘I have a live in Chum!’ and measured up the mouse with his little brown thumb. ‘I need an art assistant a hand that you could lend.’ with a shake of the claws they agreed and were friends. ‘Now there is only one thing, a cat lives round the corner just a quick friendly warning she’s savage and ginger! It’s the scary feline model for my sculpture and paintings keep out of the way when she’s salivating…’ ‘Not to worry’ said Chip, ‘I happen to know some Kung Fu The Way of the Ancient Hamster and throwing my shoe!’ Chip revealed all his secrets never known by any another the time spent in China being trained by his mother! ‘I lived there many years Fan Yen Fooey was my mum, she was eating fortune cookies When I fell from her tum!’ The cookies predicted Chip will be a very special boy A mini martial artist No fluffy feline toy! ‘I am known as Mr Chip Wong Fooey The Crown White Mouse Master’ I am hard as iron nails No oriental is faster!’ So the pair began a plotting On fat cat domination to stop the vicious tabby, for artistic salvation! Before they finished planning A purr vibrated through them The pad of ragged paws…… ‘PANIC stations’ in tandem. ‘Run into the workshop, And bolt up the door!’ They jumped under the table And lay on the floor… ‘must face up to that cat,’ said Chip pale faced… '…I was caught by surprise, and my little heart raced…. I will run out of the door, use my mums secret chop, the ‘Exploding Cheese’ strike will make moggy drop!’ ‘tremendous’ voiced Ceddy, ‘get out my brushes, canvas, paint I will capture you in action should be one of the greats.’ ‘A David and Goliath, or George and the Dragon! I will sell it at auction We can buy a Volkswagen!’ Excited the duo spied through the workshop wall to see if the cat was outside, if she was out there at all. Licking great big paws clawing hard at the mat a fully flabby, feline fortress, warlike savage tabby cat! ‘Come on out my little rodents’ she said with regal purr ‘I promise not to eat you just borrow ALL of your fur!’ Continued... Our hero’s shook and shivered all down their tiny spines ‘she wants to skin us both alive that’s not very kind!’ Its time for martial action artistic self defence set up the white washed canvas’ red cross hospital tents. Out of the door Chip pounced followed by Ceddy and his easel nimbly setting up the picture stand lithe just like weasels. The cat was quite astounded that the boys should make a show didn’t no what to say or do should she just hightail and go? She hissed her surprise and took one deadly swipe at the Kung Fu White Mouse Master now this was really a fight. Ceddy’s furious flashing brush strokes blurred paint and coloured oil a scene quite like no other as the fast rat artist toiled. Chip ducked avoiding certain death then shot up like a spring so very close, a whiskers breadth , it was time to do his thing… The painter was amazing His tail now had a brush a cocoon of concentration slow motion film, then silence….hush. ‘and………Action!’ Time to give this cat the chop Mum had taught him to resist Her legendary secret move The ‘Exploding Cheesy Fist!’ Chip span like a tornado On the domesticated cat whilst a whirlpool flash of colours matched the illustrating rat. Chip made sharpest Kung Fu Cry Just like Mr. Bruce Lee’s He fell upon the ginger puss And unleashed the deadly cheese. The Cheese Chop fired down tore the air like fighter jets it screamed towards the stricken cat No! not another day at the vets? With a look of sheer terror And a ghastly, horrid shriek Turned quick fled and didn’t return not even for a peek. The Chinese chop was wasted but it did the very trick, for the cat had done a runner and the cheese had hit the bricks. The painting was now finished and our friends were very rich Ceddy’s ‘David and Goliath’ sold at auction in ‘The Ritz’!!! What would they do together No need to paint and sell Just retire and soak the sun up In a lovely French hotel lets buy a Volkswagen Beetle drive to the South of France just live happily every after in new hats and fancy pants! They bought a flashy motor Frilly trousers made of satin Took the highroad west to Wales And settled for Prestatyn. The End (until..... 'The Passion of Prestatyn')