Tuesday 4 May 2021

Krypto Jim (an ode to retirement)


Krypto Jim

The Title doesn’t pertain to the ‘Times Crossword’

Or lazing about in retirement, because that would be absurd…

I wish you all the best

with not having to come to work

being able to put your feet up

you could stop, sleep and shirk…?


Listen to some great radio,

the cricket, the plays, the news, make some calls…

watch some great sports, the Olympics, rugby, cricket

don’t forget beach volleyball

read the top 250 books

and watch the top 500 films

Put on some sunglasses

So your not recognised at all.


Don’t watch the clock…

 look up those old friends

on Facebook and Tik Tok

take some photographic stills, Instagram, pills and thrills

avoid the Trouble, the Strife, the Taxman and Spills

Take a hot spa and dip

learn the piano, pick the banjo

build a full scale Viking ship

whilst your dancing the tango

when your looking to chip,

with materials self-sourced

from a Scandinavian forest fable

build the boat, chairs and table

through the flora and fauna

craft a steamy Swedish sauna…


From around the world

try all the beers and cheeses

indiscriminately, with verve and social media applauses

Then develop an artisan range + various wears,

Including smoked fish, sausage, pies and voluptuous blue pears?

So by selling your imports & products to Asda,

save enough money for the annual visit to ‘Waitrose in a Mazda!’


Appear as a contestant, be famous on Countdown

Knock’em straight off the bat on 8 out of ten cats

You can write that book!!!

Your the smartest around

‘How to Export – to the Solar System, above and beyond’

Travel to South America, just across the big pond

meet Jesus on the hill and Pele in Brazil, then take…

…a trip to the Netherlands

try a ‘smoke and a pancake’


Learn how to trade, maintain and grow a Bitcoin,

then become a successful ‘youtuber’

about the money you made

 ‘how I made my millions – you too can win!?’

With a Billion hit channel, called ‘Krypto Jim’


So remember us best

When your swanning around

Building stuff, climbing Everest, stick your stake in the ground

when us lot are trudging the Black Country miles

still sweating over targets

trying to make members smile.

So from me to you and the other bods

I wish you all the success of retirement

You lucky sod…..

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