Wednesday 6 March 2013

Goldilocks and the Three Aliens

Goldilocks & the Three Aliens

A golden girl with golden locks
The one who wears the big stripy socks
The one who ran from ‘three bears cottage’
The one who steals other peoples porridge

Through the woods and down the lane
She hopped and skipped, splashed, ran in the rain
When through the clouds a spaceship flew
A whistling saucer out of the blue

Then from the disc bounced three daft aliens
Frolicked into the woods like crazy chameleons
Goldie peered and peeked into their craft
A smile, then a titter, she rolled and laughed

Inside the spaceship was a giraffe wearing pants
A pink fluffy flamingo doing a dance
25 chimps wearing pin stripe suits
Chatting and drinking from champagne flutes

She whispered and muttered in the giraffes ear
What she said wasn’t quite so clear
She showed the flamingo a different technique
And gave the monkeys a hand out sheet

The giraffe just cried and fell off her seat
Then the flamingo danced with two left feet
The monkeys began to scream and shout
Whatever had Goldie told them about.

Goldilocks hid behind a little brown bush
When the aliens returned to a deathly hush
They wobbled and wibbled around their ship
Looking worried like jelly & biting their lips

Who told the giraffe he can't wear pants
Who told the flamingo that she can't dance
And who gave the monkeys a certificate
For free pina coladas and chocolate cake

(mediterranean accent)

‘Wibbledy dibbledy!’ said alien 1
he looked very stern, with a big wobble on
‘dibble lolo quobble’, said alien 2
she looked very angry, like a quivering loon.

‘wibble de libberloo diberrydoon, 
zelibera dibera, sillysausage intwo, 
kitera, libera, dibwibblede bosera
trolley delbella de quobbley moon’.

Cut a long story short, they found Goldielocks
And bundled her into a old wooden box
They fed her with porridge and alien jam
Until she was bigger than 'porridge oats' man

She burst out the box and flew them all home
And told the aliens about Earths angry gnomes
She dropped the giraffe and flamingo on safari
And left all the monkeys to play her Atari

Then the aliens said that they wouldn't abduct
The animals or girls from any more woods
So she ran all the way home, to tell her mum
Of bears, aliens, safaris and how far she had come

Mum called her doctor to see if she was mad
Then rang up the office to bring home her dad
I'm sorry she said to her daughter Goldie
I'm afraid your brain has gone rather mouldy

Since you've been skipping off down the lane
You seem to have gone quite literally insane
So they shipped her off in a big white van
To the soft furnished hospital owned by Pac Man.

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