Goldilocks and the Three Aliens

Goldilocks & the Three Aliens

A golden girl with golden locks

The one who wears the big stripy socks

The one who ran from ‘three bears cottage’

The one who steals other peoples porridge

Through the woods and down the lane

She hopped and skipped, splashed, ran in the rain

When through the clouds a spaceship flew

A whistling saucer out of the blue

Then from the disc bounced three daft aliens

Frolicked into the woods like crazy chameleons

Goldie peered and peeked into their craft

A smile, then a titter, she rolled and laughed

Inside the spaceship was a giraffe wearing pants

A pink fluffy flamingo doing a dance

25 chimps wearing pin stripe suits

Chatting and drinking from champagne flutes

She whispered and muttered in the giraffes ear

What she said wasn’t quite so clear

She showed the flamingo a different technique

And gave the monkeys a hand out sheet

The giraffe just cried and fell off her seat

Then the flamingo danced with two left feet

The monkeys began to scream and shout

Whatever had Goldie told them about.

Goldilocks hid behind a little brown bush

When the aliens returned to a deathly hush

They wobbled and wibbled around their ship

Looking worried like jelly & biting their lips

Who told the giraffe he can't wear pants

Who told the flamingo that she can't dance

And who gave the monkeys a certificate

For free pina coladas and chocolate cake

(mediterranean accent)

‘Wibbledy dibbledy!’ said alien 1

he looked very stern, with a big wobble on

‘dibble lolo quobble’, said alien 2

she looked very angry, like a quivering loon.

‘wibble de libberloo diberrydoon, 

zelibera dibera, sillysausage intwo, 

kitera, libera, dibwibblede bosera

trolley delbella de quobbley moon’.

Cut a long story short, they found Goldielocks

And bundled her into a old wooden box

They fed her with porridge and alien jam

Until she was bigger than 'porridge oats' man

She burst out the box and flew them all home

And told the aliens about Earths angry gnomes

She dropped the giraffe and flamingo on safari

And left all the monkeys to play her Atari

Then the aliens said that they wouldn't abduct

The animals or girls from any more woods

So she ran all the way home, to tell her mum

Of bears, aliens, safaris and how far she had come

Mum called her doctor to see if she was mad

Then rang up the office to bring home her dad

I'm sorry she said to her daughter Goldie

I'm afraid your brain has gone rather mouldy

Since you've been skipping off down the lane

You seem to have gone quite literally insane

So they shipped her off in a big white van

To the soft furnished hospital owned by Pac Man.