Krypto Jim (an ode to retirement)

 

Krypto Jim

The Title doesn’t pertain to the ‘Times Crossword’

Or lazing about in retirement, because that would be absurd…

I wish you all the best

with not having to come to work

being able to put your feet up

you could stop, sleep and shirk…?

 

Listen to some great radio,

the cricket, the plays, the news, make some calls…

watch some great sports, the Olympics, rugby, cricket

don’t forget beach volleyball

read the top 250 books

and watch the top 500 films

Put on some sunglasses

So your not recognised at all.

 

Don’t watch the clock…

 look up those old friends

on Facebook and Tik Tok

take some photographic stills, Instagram, pills and thrills

avoid the Trouble, the Strife, the Taxman and Spills

Take a hot spa and dip

learn the piano, pick the banjo

build a full scale Viking ship

whilst your dancing the tango

when your looking to chip,

with materials self-sourced

from a Scandinavian forest fable

build the boat, chairs and table

through the flora and fauna

craft a steamy Swedish sauna…

 

From around the world

try all the beers and cheeses

indiscriminately, with verve and social media applauses

Then develop an artisan range + various wears,

Including smoked fish, sausage, pies and voluptuous blue pears?

So by selling your imports & products to Asda,

save enough money for the annual visit to ‘Waitrose in a Mazda!’

 

Appear as a contestant, be famous on Countdown

Knock’em straight off the bat on 8 out of ten cats

You can write that book!!!

Your the smartest around

‘How to Export – to the Solar System, above and beyond’

Travel to South America, just across the big pond

meet Jesus on the hill and Pele in Brazil, then take…

…a trip to the Netherlands

try a ‘smoke and a pancake’

 

Learn how to trade, maintain and grow a Bitcoin,

then become a successful ‘youtuber’

about the money you made

 ‘how I made my millions – you too can win!?’

With a Billion hit channel, called ‘Krypto Jim’

 

So remember us best

When your swanning around

Building stuff, climbing Everest, stick your stake in the ground

when us lot are trudging the Black Country miles

still sweating over targets

trying to make members smile.

So from me to you and the other bods

I wish you all the success of retirement

You lucky sod…..

Now Everywhere! 'Episode' 1

And the following stations and links

https://anchor.fm/zebideejones

https://www.breaker.audio/zebideejones-verse-and-random-excerpts

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy80Y2VhMDE2OC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==

https://pca.st/7senfn3f

https://radiopublic.com/zebideejones-verse-random-excer-Gq7nNO

and the RSS feed https://anchor.fm/s/4cea0168/podcast/rss

PT

Picture this - dog standing on a roof, paint brush in hand, pipe in mouth, lady with tight shorts on ladder handing him his collar, poo bags in back pocket.

CROW Experimental Rock and Blues Track - Garage Band Recording - me on Guitars - Blackstar Amp Direct to I-phone Recording - Hope you like. CROW

CROW

Redinculius

When it is time to stop
When it is Redinculius
Ceasar says stop
Carry on...

My experimental version of the superb song (not mine) and writing from The Jam on Down in the Tube Station @ Midnight. Click link here - Down in The Tubestation

Nightowl - sounds by zj

click on the link to listen to at my soundcloud site NightOWl

Just a Thought

Just a Thought

There's a large amount

Of decoration in the things

That we all say

But the things that really matter start to fade from

Day to day

So all that I can really do

For examples of dark matter

Is to say

Something that really doesn't really always shatter those

Obvious prerequistions of the everyday thoughts of latter

that you thought that

Was the case but it didn't really matter, so the next time that you organise a thought that redeems a heavy vision, just remember that one day it could be an exhibition.

Pot of Sluggish

Pot of Sluggish

Take a slug
Ten fleas from a dog
And a lady bug
Then mud from a bog

First get the slug
And mix it with the bug
Take fleas from the dog
And put it in the bog

Put it all in a pot for tea
Bake at 111 degrees c

Milk Drinking Gangsters F&b's circa 14.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I am the reverend O J Kemimariah
From the democtrotic Republic Isaiah
My father the Severn star General
Of the Army of Bugeria
Left you a sum of money in good faith
And was trying to ship the largente
Keeping pace
From the beach when
He couldn't reach for his phone
Did he own
And left it my task to contact
Just reply as soon as is necessary
Your smallest contract
With your bank details
And passwords for us to
Retail the bail
Transfer the sum of 30,000,000
U.S. currency to your account for you
Want to deal with me
And disseminate to Goodyear causes.
Your mostest friend and lost brother O J

Ps please reply to my friendly email as I couldn't get to a computer in my war torn desperate shitpit of a country looking to chop hands from the children and ask them to myrder their friends if they don't comply, I am a murderer, a rapist and will burn your grandmother for 10 U.S. It's just a bit easier to do this but m afraid im just a rotten turd on this earth and won't be successful this time. Please kill me.
Adam.biggest.member@swindle.tv

@end

Abuser

Every day I see you
I have to look away
Your so fucking ugly
Eyes try to run away
They roll and sting and water
Say they'll never see again
Cos your so bloody putrid
I've had to change my name.

@end

New Artwork deals on prints

Ok

Ned the Red Bed Thief Died

There's a thief in the bed

Who painted it red

Dropped down quite dead

He was called Ned.

Render Mon

Zebidee Jones (@zebideejones) tweeted at 11:45pm - 4 Jul 13:

Render me breathless

Intuitively restless

Remind me of generous

Hazel eyes heaven express. 

sent from somewhere over here.......

You know?

Ye men over here

Ye women over there

Why shame yourselves with cloth

Remove your daubs and

Hug each other for those

That can live and let love

You know me?

Ye men over here 

Ye women over there 

Return your alcohol tears

Remove your eyes

Remove your hair

And stab your victims clear

You know me?

Ye men over here 

Ye women over there 

Lets swim in sand by the pier

Your slicing knife said sorry to your wife

To me your end is near.

You know me now?

Remain near me, but i will see

Nothing of the velvet

You cleaned him with and 

Covered with him

Please put away my helmet

You all know me now....?

Drunken Bust

Drunken Bust

Drunken bust

Of stereo

Twins that must

Remind you so

Of trickling water

Tally ho

So it must end

In glittered bars

Rev me up

My petrol car... 

Sea gull. Afterthought @zebideejones

@zebideejones: Picture this... a seagull standing proud, one foot on a battered cod, tattoos, chest puffed up, a hunters proud moment, chipshop, onlookers.


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Errant Chap

There is an errant chap
Who races here
And races there
He doesn't sweat
and he doesn't flap
Just chunters along
On a rata tap tapa chat cat
Typewriting left
Typewriting right
Isn't very fat
He's ever so slight
With the energy of 5 children
caffeine speed freak all night

 
But he doesn't ever fret
And he doesn't ever flap
Just bundles along
On a rata tap tapa
rata chat slap dap
tappa Lap Nap
Wonders why he's been here
Before with a hat on
Just 1 fleeting thought
One of over a million
As he processes his seconds
That he rules like his minions
A drop in his time
Only one out of billions.

Mr Babof

Oh mr babof

Why dont we fly off

Why dont we fall along the edge

Of a cloud inside your liver, oh mr babof

sent from somewhere over here.......