Static Nightmare

Static Nightmare

Ring me baby,
Give me a bell. 
Text me baby,
who can tell.
I’ll write you, 
Maybe,
With bitter 
egg shells and
Green egg gal’s
Wild spotted bellies,
And scabby old shelves.
Fuzzy screen tellies
Showing mad
Static little elves,
I’m having a nightmare,
Can’t wake for the bells.

Dirty Date

Dirty Date Hey would you like to go For a drink with me If you say yes Here's what I see I'll look at your neck I'll glance at your bum You won't know that was done I will notice your nipples When they are stiff I'll get an erection When I get a whiff Of your perfume Mingled with your body You won't notice this. Your boobs are amazing I wish I could touch And your luscious lips I like very much You said yes and why not To a drink or such I must honestly admit I felt rather butch... Oh I really want you hot So after a few drinks I really want what not We go back to your house Maybe a snog methinks Some coffee anticipation To settle and suck face With natural perspiration Then I decide to try a thigh Then your back and tight belly Not venturing too high I go around, turn to jelly The side of your boob, Oh weighty, oh so firm Don't think we'll need the lube My hard on gives a squirm So I hold and cup and neade Ahoy! another a stern Then I try down south and squeeze Your crotch, that feels real warm What a turn on what a wheeze  Change, return to tits and arms.... Then at last you make a grab for it Through my jeans a naïve touch You rub my stiffy dick You grip and hold my packet Oh where did I leave my jacket? Now plunging down below Into pants and hairs and holes All squishy and rather tight then..... You pull my cock right out! With a murmur and a shiver You then cum on top of my finger With all a shivering and quiver So now I'm not really embarrassed When my penis starts to feel harassed And I squidge a tidy packet All up your arm and sleeve Narrowly missing aforesaid jacket And I cannot quite believe When you lick it up and lap it But we agree to meet again As its getting rather late And we will definitely shag And we'll have a suck & lick So I scratch my empty bag After licking your wet lips Then I'll stick a dick in it The next time that we date The next time we do coffee She said I taste of toffee... Yes we'll have another date as its getting rather late....

Purple Hurtle Turtle

Purple Turtle Hurtle I might still have a royal flush Its colour doesn’t really matter You don’t look like me, you’re pink I’m not going to make a fuss If your tall or small or fatter Doesn’t mean the honky’s stink Whether you’re a king or a queen You don’t look like me, you’re green And I don’t care for real fresh cream That doesn’t mean you’re mental mean Just because I’m not society You don’t look like me, you’re blue Or forsake hard-line sobriety Doesn’t mean that you’re not true I may have been there in your class You didn’t look like me, your purple But I didn’t have your pass That doesn’t mean you cannot rhyme Unless you hurtle like a turtle Can it mean you’re out of line or sinful Mean or not kind or very rude or frightful So the opinion remains the same It’s just the difference bothering you Whether fear or scars and pain And all the ignorance of a few.

We fell in together

We fell in together We fell in together and brushed off the world Cos I'd found my girl in a pub called 'The Earl' I'd come from the Midlands, a dirty old mirror From industrial beginnings, or a pearl, a pearl in an ocean, And the salt of the earth I'd come from the Midlands I'd fought off my nerves, From a difficult birth To fall into a new life with With my travel trunk and her.

Beware a lingering eye

Beware a Lingering Eye Sitting in the brown stained Coffee lazy smoking room There happened upon a freckled Lass, brown, blond, mousy mess Of a fellow smoker, A Marlboro lighted toker Who chatted to a bloke and Other indiscriminate folks. So I took in the conversation, All very friendly, polite Inconsequentially trendy. One cigarette finished, another took Stubbed and finally put out, cooked. When she smiled and then addressed me, Whilst all alone just we, She actually looked my way, It was surprisingly strange to say, That she looked twice, then lingered, Just like pointing with her fingers, Eye to eye, Couldn’t suss my smoking spy, Although I glimpsed a reason why, We spoke with longing eyes, lustful Green, grey skies, very close, Could be lying near, leaving me excited With canny fear.

Little Johnny and the Spider

Little Johnny and the Spider….

Little Johnny sat in a tree
Eating his bacon and 
Drinking some tea
When along came a spider 
That sat down beside him.
‘Well how do you do?’
Said the eight legged crew
With his 9 little eyes
And his spindly thighs
‘I do very well’
Said Johnny to this
With a smirk and a hiss,
Began to take the piss….
‘Alright nine eyes’ he said
‘Bet its expensive buying glasses,
and wipes for your lenses buying
Shoes and some trousers
Or Millions of new razors
For your hairy legs…….’ 
oh what a wheeze!
The tree spider looked 
He trembled and shook
then looked at the sky and said
‘Fibbledy fuck….’
He looked at the boy and said
‘My you are rude!, your dirty
and smelly and terribly crude…..
Hope you die soon & horribly too,
Then have a brain haemorrhage
Or choke on your food…
I hope you get embarrassed
When girls look at you
With frightened expressions 
When your in the nude.
The little boy laughed 
The little boy roared
He fell out of the tree
And squished on the floor.
Little Jimmy sat in a tree
Eating his sausages and 
Drinking some tea
When along came a spider 
That sat down beside him….

Dog Tired but Wired

Dog tired but Wired

What chores are in store
When I get through the door.
Will I have to mop the floor,
Before sleep surrounds
my tired paws.

It’s morning and I’m yawning
but I know I cannot sleep!
Think I’ll go and see the sheep,
And worry them to sleep.

Target Practice

Target Practice

Something wrong with today's earwigs
Their not wired up right
Don't like the ones on the figs
And the weirdy on Burroughs head flights
The men in the silly brown wigs
Yes the ones who lecture on life
When the time comes for me to shoot
I hope I don't hit my wife.

Office Monkeys

Buzz, buzz, buzz went the office,
Talk, talk, talk monkey please,
Whir, whir, whir went the hard drives,
Hum, hum, hum, went the screens.

Clickety, clack, click typed the keys
Ding, dong, dang went the lifts,
Chit, chat, chit said the monkeys,
Flexi-time, rhythm and rhyming shifts.

Testet

sent from somewhere over here.......

The big baggers slapper...

The great big baggers slapper

A young maid in concessions

She was neither clean

Nor was she refreshing

Smelled of stale perfume and lipsticks 

Turkish showers, constricted sweat

Red face and orange mastic 

Previous dated purchase spent

She took the slap our of her bag

A ladies make up artist

could convert it into swag

Wax on, wax off

To become a desirable wag

Slap it on suck it off

She was just a bit of a slag

No word of a lie, 

Just an arrogant punk

Thrust a little pink eye fish

With his high velocity trunks

He took 'big baggers slapper'

Into the gents cubicle crapper

Flushed his chain and

then he snapped her

shared with friends 

And then dumped her cos

The dirty slapper shagger

Bagged the Biggest baggers 

Pink fish slapper in the west